Book Review: Securely Yours: An Agony Aunts Guide to Surviving Cyber, by Amelia Hewitt & Rebecca Taylor

Cyber agony aunts are full of authentic insight and realistic advice

You don’t have to be in cyber, or a woman, to enjoy this warm and personal ‘how to’ guide, and come away from it with some ideas.

Securely Yours: An Agony Aunts Guide to Surviving Cyber is an unflinching, practical and at times deeply personal go-to guide for women considering or already engaged in a career in cybersecurity.

The emphasis is on cybersecurity because this is where co-authors Amelia Hewitt and Rebecca Taylor earn a living, but their practical, honest and genuinely insightful advice is useful for any woman working in a male-dominated realm – or really anyone who feels in a minority in their workplace.

The pair have styled themselves as agony aunts and kick off the book by sharing their own personal stories. They had very different routes into cyber but by sharing them they convey the message that cyber careers can be very meaningful. You don’t have to work for an NGO to make an impact, and there are lots of young people and others working in cyber who could benefit from seeing that message.

Structured as a no-nonsense Q and A covering specific professional challenges and concerns, Securely Yours tackles everything from networking anxieties to work-life balance with bracing honesty.

There are some lovely insights here. The pair dislike the term ‘soft skills,’ arguing that attributes such as emotional intelligence and organisational excellence are anything but fluffy. The suggestion of a ‘smug list’ also crops up. The idea of documenting achievements and their impact in real-time is the sort of idea that might seem obvious, yet most of us don’t do it.

The narrative is punctuated by role models sharing their career stories. It’s striking how many of the role models have the welfare of others at the forefront of their wish lists when asked questions about how they would like to reflect on their careers when they’re older.

Most critically, Hewitt and Taylor confront the toxic workplace realities many diversity campaigners tend to overlook for fear of putting women off. These include sexual harassment, gender-based double standards, and exclusionary after-hours networking. Whilst acknowledging that it shouldn’t be necessary, the pair do offer some tactical advice on how to combat this sort of behaviour.

Their myth-busting section tackles persistent narratives about imposter syndrome, workplace authenticity, and the impossible "having it all" standard that seems to uniquely burden women professionals.

Securely Yours concludes with a powerful shout-out to meaningful allyship—defined not by words but by decisive actions that challenge entrenched biases. Several male allies such as Ciaran Martin, founder and former CEO of the NCSC explain why they consider supporting women in their workplaces so important.

Whether you’re a young adult considering a career in cyber, a few years into an accidental career, a potential career switcher or a seasoned veteran, there is something for you here. By avoiding the trap of blaming women for their own under representation and offering genuinely helpful words of advice drawn from their own experiences, Hewitt and Taylor have done plenty to encourage other women to follow them into cyber.

Securely Yours: An Agony Aunts’ Guide to Surviving Cyber by Amelia Hewitt & Rebecca Taylor is available now.