Peter Cochrane: The internet needs controls like a duck needs flippers

The GDPR appears to have been written by people wearing stove pipe hats wielding quill pens, suggests ex-BT CTO Peter Cochrane

Two weeks ago I was sat at my desk when an exceptionally large set of operating system and app upgrade messages popped onto my screen.

And, because I have my own consultancy company and am also an active university professor, I have a large variety of devices spanning laptops, tablets and mobiles spread across home, office, and lab.

For me this was a bit of a heart stopping moment. I wasted most of a morning downloading and rebooting multiple devices many times. The worst devices saw two lengthy operating system upgrades, plus more than 40 app upgrades on the first operating system round and then a further 27 on the second.

One week ago I suffered yet another, but slightly lesser, cycle with singular operating system upgrades but almost the same number of app upgrades.

What prompted all this? The Facebook Congressional hearing in the US, followed by the mad-dash chaos invoked by the imminent EU General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) initiative.

All I can say is ouch, ouch, ouch!

So did any of this improve or make my life any better? No. Companies, institutions, and some individuals seem to have gone crazy over the Facebook debacle and the prospect of swingeing fines from the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) for non-compliance to a crazy set of GDPR rules that improve nothing and potentially hurt a lot.

In the same way Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was grilled by a congressional committee almost completely devoid of any relevant technology, internet or social network understanding, so the GDPR seems to have been written by people wearing stove-pipe hats wielding quill pens.

In both cases we have witnessed what can best be described as an opportunity lost. But thinking back; I seem to recall the great total quality management (TQM) and BS5750 quality management standard panics of the 1980 and 1990s and the farce of the UK Data Protection Act of 1998.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in quality, and I believe in security, data and people protection. But what actually emerges from these ‘questionable' initiatives tends to be reminiscent of sheep herding a large number of lobotomised humans, unthinkingly adopting the same mantra, singing the same song, and hardly stopping to read a word.

Perhaps the prime example of this is that almost everyone in the UK can quote The Health and Safety at Work Act while having never seen it, let alone read it.

During Zuckerberg's trial by Congress it would have been great to hear these questions and more: So, what is the upside to Facebook? How does it improve and save lives? How does it help individual cope with serious illness? And so on.

But no, all we heard were the negatives, both real and conjectured. This was no balanced debate or consideration.

My favourite moments: ‘Mr Zuckerberg does your company do XYZ and did it do ABC? Yes or No, Yes or No!'

This was not an intelligent encounter, it was designed to draw blood and appease the baying mobs of the media, while no doubt providing some choice soundbites that could be used in their next re-election campaign.

So, how does the GDPR stack up?

GDPR seriously disadvantages the good people while very effectively protecting the ‘dark side of The Force'. Doh! That might not have been the intention, but it will surely be the outcome.

I give it 12 months and, in the same way that the UK Data Protection Act became twisted, worked around, and/or ignored, then so shall the GDPR. After all, I receive emails from government, individuals, and departments that use ‘cc' instead of ‘bcc' because people do not appreciate the difference and, of course, the complete communication chain of 12 emails with a variety of addressing data is also common.

Perhaps the most dangerous thing of people not understanding is the overall slowdown and increasing inefficiency inflicted by such process, especially as the world is speeding up - we certainly don't need any slow downs if we are to keep pace.

Peter Cochrane OBE is the ex-CTO of BT, who now works as a consultant focusing on solving problems and improving the world through the application of technology.