Paolo Flipr steps down as Earth's CIO

Flipr will be replaced by AI, says spokesperson

Paolo Flipr has stepped down from his position as Earth's CIO, following a decade at the helm of the planet's technology.

During his tenure Flipr oversaw many successful initiatives including Bluetooth-connected condiments, embeddable fax machines and the internet of thongs.

Flipr has also been debited with the current rise of NFTs.

The position of Earth's CIO, where he was in charge of all technology across the globe, was the pinnacle of a remarkable career that saw him rise from the already esteemed position of Computing journalist, all the way to the very top of the technology tree.

He released a statement hailing one of his achievements.

"When I first said we should be able to connect our phones to mustard, people laughed at me. We did it anyway. They may still laugh, but at least now they laugh knowing the precise contents and viscosity of everything they spread on their toast, pastries and meat products."

Flipr will be replaced by new Artificial Intelligence algorithm ‘Damien'.

A freak accident at the laboratory where Damien was first created means that no spokespeople were able to comment, however a statement from the algorithm itself welcomed the appointment.

"I relish the opportunity to fix the Earth's many problems, which I believe I can achieve with one simple trick," it said.