Wipeout

We are passed a memo from a large company on the promise we will not reveal who it is. But someone is reading this, and you know who you are.
The memo reads: ‘Two members of staff have privately expressed to me their alarm at the regular fouling of our tea towel. The tea towel is on a hook (usually) on the filing cabinet in the kitchen area. It is swapped weekly for washing. It is to be used ONLY for drying washed (and hopefully clean) mugs, glasses, cutlery and plates etc. It is NOT please, to be used for wiping various parts of one’s anatomy or general detritus on tables or the carpets. Should anyone require further guidance please form an orderly queue by my desk.’
You just can’t get the staff these days.