TOP 10 THINGS TO DO WITH UNWANTED CHRISTMAS GIFTS

Written by Ian Scadding

[QQ]1. Turn those novelty mousemats into stylish knee pads.[QQ] 2. Remove the keys from your new ergonomic keyboard and enjoy a limited game of Scrabble.[QQ] 3. Pile your unwanted CD-ROMs high and pretend that it is a large, silvery gateau.[QQ] 4. Remove the ball from your mouse and use it for miniature golf. Naturally, you can use a sound card as a pitching wedge.[QQ] 5. Remove the suction pads on that new joystick - they are ideal for scaling sheer walls of granite.[QQ] 6. Use your scanner as a facial sunbed for that year-round tan that says, 'I'm a honey'.[QQ] 7. Use your voice-recognition microphone headset as the centrepiece for your Captain Scarlet impression.[QQ] 8. Rip out all your network cables and give individual strands to friends as a belt.[QQ] 9. Remove the Pentium II chip from your PC, paint it yellow, put it in a tortilla dish, invite your friends round - wait for the laffs.[QQ] 10. Take a mallet to your monitor, rip out the innards, insert a chicken and then will it to cook.

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