I'm officially a security risk. I say "officially" because I have been one for some time, it's just that no one ever realised it before. I am now the proud owner of an Apple iPod mini (silver) - if you are not sure why that makes me a security risk, then just hang on a bit.

Despite having travelled to the US just a couple of months ago, I have only recently been able to get my grubby fingers on the gadget, and I did this by using eBay, the online auction site. Of course I have shopped in this way before, but I have always restricted my purchases to obscure films and CDs. This was the first time I had spent more than £50, so I was somewhat doubtful about what would arrive in the post.

I had visions of a factory in Taiwan churning out "Aplee oPids" in a range of colours including "blue in the right light", "bling bling gold" and "puce green" to send to unsuspecting - or skim reading - bidders.

But my mistrust was misplaced. When the postman knocked wearily on my door at the ungodly hour of 8.15am I snatched the package out of his hand, opened it in a blur of brown paper and packing tape and found to my relief that my "almost silver" oPid was the real deal, if not quite as shiny as I had imagined it would be.

However, now I discover that my enjoyment of the iPod may be curtailed. Because it acts as a moveable storage device it poses a security risk - and because I am the carrier (making me sound like the monkey in the virus horror film Outbreak), my movements must be monitored. After all, no one wants me downloading and taking home all those press releases - just think what that would mean for the global economy. Can't think of anything? Me neither.

But "businesses are increasingly putting themselves at risk by allowing the unauthorised and uncontrolled use of portable storage devices", according to Ruggero Contu of analyst Gartner. "Companies should forbid the use of uncontrolled, privately owned devices with corporate PCs."

Well, thanks a lot, Contu, but haven't you missed out a couple of other risks?

Can we be certain that Brian from accounts' freckle-faced 12-year-old daughter who makes an appearance on "bring your child to work days" isn't actually a dwarf trained in industrial espionage, and that the casual disinterest she displays in filing isn't a highly sophisticated smoke screen?

Should we round up anyone with a notebook, pen and the ability to write very fast, or indeed anyone blessed with a photographic - or halfway decent - memory? And anyone with access to mobile phones with cameras, floppy disks, email or printers - in fact, employees in general - and escort them from the building? After all, they all have the potential to swipe data and send it down the information super-drainpipe.

Don't tell anyone, but there is definitely a culture of paranoia and secrecy growing up - much of it fertilised by attention-seeking analysts.

Firms should treat their security with the utmost sincerity and seriousness, but surely a line must be drawn so that common sense can return to the workplace - along with my iPod.