Should lost sprogs sell 3G phones?

It was, I think, easily the silliest idea I'd heard of for days: a shopping mall offering a "lost kiddies" service. You pay your money on the way in, they take a picture of your toddler and give you a code.

And then you can safely lose the brat, because when you do, the picture can be broadcast to all the security staff phones.

The phones are Nokia 7650 Smartphones, which is important. They are big, clunky, and unreliable (the batteries don't last long) but they have cameras built in - still cameras. Not video cameras like the NEC e606, which Hutchison's 3 is trying to sell.

So there I am watching some "expert" explain the system on TV, and the interviewer says: "Of course, you'd need one of these new video phones from 3, wouldn't you?" and the expert replies "Oh, yes, indeed."

Yes, and transporter beam systems will be shipping within the decade.

In the real world, that TV programme shows that marketing has triumphed over reality yet again.

And no, I don't just mean that the odds of someone losing their child but remembering the child's code are long. Nor do I mean that the pictures, viewed on a phone's screen, are never going to enable a security guy to recognise the kid running around, snotty and tear-stained, two hours later.

What I mean is that 3 is doing a wonderful job of persuading people that you really can see video over current phones, and it's making people think that the disaster of the 3G licence auctions may have been worthwhile.

And if you think that's too unlikely to be contemplated, watch this space.

I bet you Vodafone launches its own 3G service before the end of this year. If you can fool Vodafone...

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