06 Mar 1998
As if by magic, the Web page wholly dedicated to the 1970s children's TV series Mr Benn, transports me back to a world where my only worry was whether to eat a green or an orange yoyo and the slow puncture in my spacehopper.
You always knew where you were with Mr Benn. Every week, just after lunch, Mr Benn would leave his cosy terraced home at 52 Festive Road (based on writer, David McKee's own address at 52 Festing Road, Putney) and stroll, in his three-piece suit and bowler hat, to the fancy dress shop on the corner. There, as if by magic, a shopkeeper with a seedy pencil moustache, wearing a red fez, would appear and offer Mr Benn a choice of outfit.
Mr Benn would pop the outfit on in the changing room, open the door and hey presto, he was transported into a different world, according to the outfit he was wearing. One week he would be decked out in a tiger skin back in prehistoric times, the next he'd be a medieval knight in full armour. And not for one second did I think any of this was strange, ridiculous or at all, well, kinky. What it was to be a kid in the 1970s ...
Now in the all too realistic 1990s Mr Benn is about to be made into a feature film, or rather a live action movie. Made no doubt with the Yankee dollar, all its original double entendre and charm surgically removed and Robin Williams in the title role. So for those of us who prefer the calm, unquestioning eccentricity of the original, www.doc-h.demon.co.uk/benn.htm is the place to go. Download "Good morning! Would you like to try on a clown suit, sir?" and relive those frizzy-permed, polyester trousered days before they discovered Space Dust was carcinogenic.
The Web is a treasure trove for anyone in search of childhood TV faves.
It is also, as ever, a mine of utterly useless and bizarre information.
For example, did you know that Bod, in addition to being a spindly-legged youth of indeterminate sex with an Aunt called Flo, is also the Tibetan word for Tibet?
The Pugwash site also confirms the heartbreaking truth that there never was a Seaman Staines and that the cabin boy was called Tom, rather than Roger. From the Clangers to Pingu, to Bagpus and Chorlton and the Wheelies and back to Button Moon via the Magic Roundabout, all your childhood is here, if you care to download it. The Classic kids TV from the 1970s and 1980s site, within geocities, has the most comprehensive list of classic programmes and lists many of the Web sites created in homage.
Finally, indulge yourself in a trip to Trumptonshire (www.bbc.co.uk/evans/ trumpgo.htm), where you'll find everything you ever wanted to know about Trumpton, Chigley and Camberwick Green. Sing along to 'Time flies by when you're the driver of a train' and other classics. Wonder why the after-work Trumpton Fire Brigade band concert never clashed with the Chigley after-factory dance? Guess who's in the musical box, wound up and ready to play! If the sound of a sharp whistle blast followed by Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you deserve to be caught by the phantom pie thrower.
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