The trouble with Henry

?Proceed with me into our secret laboratories where the world?s leading computer boffins will guide you on a mysterious tour into the world of the future. I am afraid for reasons of security you may refer to me only as Doctor X,? said Gary, my year 2000 project manager.

?Gary,? I said, ?Take the dark glasses off. It?s Vincent.?

?Oh sorry boss,? said Gary, ?but I thought the glasses gave the show an air of mystery.?

Unfortunately due to a catering accident with the salmon vol-au-vents, the grand opening of the new WongCorp offices had got a little out of hand.

With the queues for the toilets three times longer than the queues for any of the exhibits, Gary had enterprisingly decided to spice up the ?WongCorp World of Future Technology? exhibit with a little showmanship.

This was welcome, as the 3D computer-aided design display was probably a mistake. Interesting as the internal wiring of the Wong III might be, it?s hard to make something exciting in 3D when it?s only 4mm thick.

Back at our old building, the IT department is now the sole occupant, while the new site is readied. Being left alone in the building, which now resembles a giant aircraft hangar, has produced an oddly jovial reaction from the staff. Without non- technical WongCorp employees to deal with, they see this as an opportunity to get on with their work unhindered. This is especially popular with the helpdesk.

My IT manager Henry is also enjoying the emptiness of the new building, which Gary rather unkindly says reminds Henry of the state of his own mind. Yet it does him good to come out of the stationery cupboard now and then and run around the deserted building wearing his hat with the propeller on it, pretending to be a helicopter.

Perhaps other IT managers in should do the same! The only problem is getting Henry back at the end of the day. Luckily his doctor dropped by with two table tennis bats, which we now use to guide him safely to the ambulance.

Obviously I am concerned that Henry?s behaviour might be considered unusual, so I asked Henry?s doctor what I could do. ?Like all of us, Henry takes his cue from his clothes,? said the doctor. ?If you replace his twirly hat with a uniform more appropriate to his job, you may see a change in behaviour.? Now all I have to do is find clothing that signifies WongCorp. Gary suggested a cowboy outfit. I hope he was joking.